Cue stereotypical 90s music: “Bullet Proof…I Wish I Was” came on as I drove away thinking about how weird and fucked up this whole situation is for everybody.
As I sat there in my seat, indifferent and in thought, I saw something fall from the sky; a halogen colored orb that suddenly dropped and then accelerated behind the hills where I faced. I know that this was some object and not a glare because my window was down and there were no street lights where I was. With such a great interruption, this observation instantly left me with a change in tone. I set out to where I thought the object had gone and hunched over my steering wheel with the expectation of finding destruction.
I found nothing more than the concealing blackness of the night and a landscape unchanged from the previous times I had driven through it. As I set my course for home, disappointed, I got back to thinking. I thought about how certain I was that I saw something and the pursuit that ensued as result. How I believed so much in this thing and the second it was out of my sight, I was left with my imagination to fill in the gaps of what I couldn’t physically see. Whether or not this thing was real, in my mind I made it more real than its manifestation when it caught my eye. Similar to the countless trips we have taken to the asylum and the stories I would make up in my head of who used to populate these rooms, what emotions these people felt, and what events occurred that a complex could just be left in such a state where creativity and stage design had to be ruled out as a cause. I saw the asylum and this orb in the way that my mind wanted to believe its truths and as result I saw these things and believed in them.
As I thought on this I realized that that’s a sort of foundation to this weird situation unknowingly involving everyone within my understanding of it. We have all seen things, and in many ways have more than just seen them, but they have all fallen behind a hill out of our sight. And though it doesn’t exist anymore in the way our minds chose to explain to ourselves in the moments before it fell, we have set ourselves up for an impossible chase fueled by artificial afterimages. We are curious and creative and passionate beings in our nature as humans but it is also these attributes that lead to our destructiveness.